Skulduggery Pleasant Short Stories
by Skullets
Summary: these short stories will be a chapter. don't worry! i'll make sure there's a good balance of genres. yeah! please PM requests. R&R if you wish i love imput!
1. introduction

**SKULDUGGERY SHORT STORIES**

**INTRO**

I thought this would need an intro, a short one. Each chapter will supply a new story about the characters. Meaning: everything will re-start, have a clean slate. Than we'll start all over again. Yeah! Here are some of my guide lines so you under stand.

-if you see under the new stories title like: VCPOV, SPOV. It means who's narrating the story, the initials followed by POV (position on view). Get it? Got it? Good. Oh, and Vendetta Dare is VDPOV Valkyrie is VCPOV

-if under the title you see STBD (soon to be dead) it means it's a story about how a character that dies. But don't worry! I'll restart a clean slate!

-if under the title you see LOV (love on view) it means the characters are in love. Don't hate me, just skip it, k?

- I love R&R! (rate and review) please do it.

-I'll honor requests that you ask for me to do, or I'm just lazy to think of anything, shhh! But please PM (personal message) me if you want a short story.

- just in case the short story is so awesome that it needs a cliff hanger, I'll do

**BLANK BLANK BLANK a **than **BLANK BLANK BLANK b **yeah!

I think that sums it up… I'll start after this is posted.


	2. Gordon's last day

**GORDON'S LAST DAY (BY REQUEST)**

STBD

Gordon's last day started with everything ordinary and ended not so much.

Gordon woke up in his master bedroom in his creepy mansion. First thing he did was shuffle down to the kitchen and have coffee and bagels for breakfast.

Now he had to climb 2 flights of stair cases, that day his elevator was broken. He passed by a few bedrooms and bathrooms to his bedroom. He pulled on an argyle vest with a pinstriped shirt underneath, centered with a tie. His trousers were dark grey with 'pockets'. The shoes were nothing more than slippers (he hated when he got scuffs on his rosewood floors).

Gordon was still hungry so he ended up in the kitchen, again. This time he stole some left over pie from the fridge.

Off to his study to finish his book. He pulled the false book and the shelf opened. Once he entered his echo stone flashed a mirror of himself.

"hello, Gordon. Is today the day?"

"I think it is, what did I ended with yesterday?"

"I believe that Samson was just in the midst of being torn apart."

"ah, right. Thank you"

He began typing away and asking for some books from his echo stone. He just finished the sentence "_**And the Darkness Rained Upon Them" **_when he heard glass breaking.

He stood out of his swivel chair and darted toward the bookcase to find Serpine searching around, surveying the area. Until he found a book out of place. Gordon's heart pounding with every shallow breath.

"take to the caves" the echo stone said, "I'll try to give you as much time as I can."

Gordon nodded as he took a flashlight and went through a small door disguised as a dumb-waiter and left. Just after Gordon escaped Serpine entered to find Gordon finishing his book.

"hello, Gordon"

"oh, uh hi" Gordon's echo stone said turning to Serpine, "are you here to kill me?"

"good guess, any last words?"

"oh, um. Let me think…" he said giving the actual Gordon time to escape, "I would like to thank my family for supporting me the whole way and-"

Looking annoyed Serpine cried, "this isn't the damn Oscars!"

Serpine whipped out his right hand and it glowed red but Gordon didn't cripple, he forgot to. With no success Serpine scythed out his dagger and stabbed Gordon in the heart. There was no blood, in fact Serpine's hand went right through Gordon chest.

Serpine's face went from scared to shocked to deceived than ended with furious.

"whoops" Gordon's echo stone said as innocent as possible.

"where is the _real_ Gordon?"

"I-I don't know"

Serpine began scouring the area looking for another hidden door. He pulled out some dust and tossed in the air.

"w-what is that?"

"dust… nothing more. It'll help me find the hidden door."

The dust shifted towards the dumb-waiter and crawled behind it.

"ha! There you are…" Serpine said to himself.

He opened it and went through the door to find a series of caves.

"damn it! Which way did he go."

When Gordon came through the hidden door he knew where each cave lead. He entered the one that was 2 off from the right (it lead to an opening by a road). He walked briskly in his slippers into the cave. He turned on his flashlight as the darkness covered everything. The beam bounced of wet walls and specks of glittery eyes. The cave monsters didn't care that Gordon came through, he didn't have powers so they didn't bother him.

He was almost at the at exit until his chest felt crushed and stretched. The red hand caused almost impossible pain that defied all laws. Gordon barked in pain as the red hand came closer. He couldn't breath anymore, his lungs didn't expand, instead they were sucked dry. His knees buckled as Gordon began to curl up in to the child's pose. The pain was too intense to stand. He stopped breathing. Serpine killed him. But he wasn't done.

Serpine levitated Gordon's corpse back to the study and placed him where he found to reflection, but this time he laid the corpse in the study that wasn't hidden. Satisfied, Serpine slit his throat beside his last page of words he typed that day.

_this story was requested by a friend of mine, thank you!_

_~darkntwisted13_


	3. with the faceless ones

**SKULDUGGERY'S FIRST DAY WITH THE FACELESS ONES**

As the detective slipped through the portal, he heard Valkyrie crying to keep the portal opened, but is was unfortunately to late. The red and yellow faded into dust. Skulduggery ran through alley ways. Paddy came up from behind him and leaped onto Skulduggery. Paddy barked "don't you dare leave me!". Skulduggery flew Paddy onto the ground and said "This, this is all your fault! We have no way of getting home!"

Paddy stumbled up and pounced into the skeleton but his hand splayed and Paddy bounced off of the ground.

*thump, thump, thump* they both turn to find a faceless one peering over them. Paddy was the first victim, was lifted by a force at the same time Paddy managed to clench Skulduggery's femur. In a swift movement Paddy was thrown up into the air, still holding onto the arms. Skulduggery hollered in pain as his arm got ripped off.

As soon as Paddy hit the ground he was dead. Now is was the detectives turn. The monster had fun ripping the bones apart, the pain was greater than the red hand. It hurt too much to scream. The pain stopped, all the detective was now was a pile of bones it was the same feeling back in the war.

It seemed impossible but Skulduggery literally pulled himself together. The pain was intense. The almost finished skeleton couldn't find his arm from before. He limped around until he found a suitable hiding place, a dark cave that needed some light.

To pass the time he moved the earth to create light. During the process the ground cracked a bit.

Hours passed, and he couldn't take it anymore, he for surely was going to be mad. If he was alone, why not sing? Skulduggery tried some notes, all of them off. He decided to start to hum out 'Brick in the Wall' he knew he was going to be there for more a few days, why not get it right?

_Argh! I decided on this one out of a few requests because it somewhat stood out, right? Anyway it's been taking me 4 hours total every night for each chapter or story for my fanfics. It's really hard to think of a good story line for most of every chapter… I would truly love it if you sent me ideas or requests for the next chapter. One more thing, it's pretty impossible to get 'the end of the world' novelette, Not fair! Sorry if I'm boring you, I'll go now to spare you some excitement and dignity, bye_

_~darkntwisted13_


	4. The day off

**SKULDUGGERY'S AND VALKYRIE'S DAY OFF**

Skulduggery and Valkyrie were granted a day off from the sanctuary as their walking to the Bentley Valkyrie asks, "We have the whole day off, now what?"

Skulduggery grimly shrugged and got in. Valkyrie had a great idea and said, "Ooh, lets see a scary movie." trying to find her buckle.

"_Our_ life is always a scary movie."

"So, now what? Fishing? I haven't gone since Gordon died."

"Why not? Hey, did I ever tell you the story about me and that shark?"

"When Geoffrey got cursed?"

"Yeah." Skulduggery furrowed his eyebrow from his Façade, "I still think he owes me a favor" he muttered.

Valkyrie laughed a little. "Know and good spots?"

"Well, what do you like? River or lake?"

"Um, uh. River. Got any 'hip weighters'"

"I do, but I was planning on fly fishing."

"OK, sounds awesome, which river?"

Skulduggery looked to the left and did a tight turn making Valkyrie hit her head, hard.

"Ouch… why?"

"Oh, sorry. I don't know the name of the river but it's pretty good."

"OK, how far?"

"Uh, we're here… I think"

"What do you mean?"

"Look" he said pointing outside.

"Ooh, sorry Skul" She said looking at the parking lot that filled the whole river.

"Oh, my god… Now what?"

"I don't know, the beach?"

"I don't tan."

"But _I_ do"

Skulduggery sighed making his shoulders droop. "No, I don't think so. I'm the one with the car."

"Fine, I drive."

"What? I don't think so. Remember Marr?"

"Really? Skulduggery, really? That was a year ago."

"I know, but you heard the mechanic, one more dent and were screwed"

Sighing, Valkyrie had a brilliant idea. "Why don't we go to comic-con?"

"Why? That place is for nerds"

"Fine, what are you thinking of doing?"

"The art museum?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my partner?"

"What? I like art. Don't blame me."

"But that's not fun… Oh, my god! I know where to go!"

"where?"

"Gordon's house."

"Why?"

"Spelunking"

"What is that?"

"Cave exploring"

"Oh, hell no. Remember the creatures and that ghost?"

"Oh, yeah" Valkyrie gasped, "look!"

"Wha-oh" He hit the breaks hard to find a kid hanging in a tree over a park creek. "You get him."

"Fine" she unclipped her seatbelt and ran over to the kid.

"You OK kid?"

"Help me!" he screamed.

"OK, hold on I'll be there in a second."

"Easy for you to say" the kid muttered

While Valkyrie was trying to save the kid Skulduggery played with the car stereo. FM, or AM he couldn't decide. He found FM was better, the song was Katy Perry _E.T. _He didn't feel like changing it "_Kiss me, ki ki kiss me. Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison_." After that stanza Skulduggery changed it to Pink Floyd, Brick in the Wall.

Valkyrie was moments from falling into the creek. She said, "OK, almost there… OK, now. Jump!" The kid didn't complain, he fell into her arms and he walked to land but Valkyrie didn't follow. She fell into the water, it was freezing.

"Skulduggery!". He didn't here her. Instead she could see him singing to a song. She almost slipped and fell down stream.

"Kid! Get the guy in the black car!" he nodded and ran up towards Skulduggery's car. He knocked at the window and Skulduggery rolled down the window.

"Can I help you?"

"That girl that helped me fell into the creek, I think she needs help."

Skulduggery ran out to the creek. He found Valkyrie barely clinging to a fallen branch. He carefully runs towards her. Skulduggery looks both ways and makes Valkyrie levitate out of the water and onto land. He lends out his hand and Valkyrie takes it.

"What were you doing?"

"Um, singing to Pink Floyd." The water lifting off of Valkyrie as she made fire flicker in her hand. The kid behind them said, "Are you two magicians?"

Valkyrie, not knowing what to say nudges Skulduggery, "Uh, y-yes we are"

"Can I see that trick you did? The one where you made her float?"

In a quick second his hand splays making the kid float.

He laughs playfully, "That is so cool, can I get down now?"

Skulduggery puts the kid down and he runs off.

"Well, that was something."

"Indeed it was, now what?"

"Lets watch Dracula, at Gordon's house."

"Sounds good to me"

They drove to Gordon's house. Valkyrie started the movie as Skulduggery made some popcorn.

"Popcorn?"

"Don't you like it?"

"I do, but no butter"

"whoops"

"huh, fine"

The movie started and they sat down. Valkyrie got to the part where Dracula had no reflection, she couldn't get through the scene without hearing a snoring. She nudged Skulduggery hard.

"Are you sleeping?"

"N-no not at all."

"Can you even sleep? Oh, wait you 'meditate"

"Exactly, I _was_ doing a pretty good job at it too."

"Sorry, but," His head fell again, "Oh, hell… Wake up!"

"Hmm?"

"You fell asleep. Again!"

"Did I? Sorry."

"Would you want a pillow while you at it?"

"That would be great"

"Oh, my god. Fine, take it!" he took the pillow and folded it as he laid down a but more.

"Happy?"

"Oh, much so. Thank you."

"Man, today has been weird. Not the kind of weird we go against. The weird that we haven't done this yet."

"You no the old saying" he said lazily.

"Yep. Stranger thinks have happened…" She glanced at Skulduggery who was sleeping but she couldn't tell through those empty eye sockets. She creeps over him and Gently taps his collar bone making his façade flow on. She then grabs a Sharpie. Valkyrie was an inch away from his face until he whips out his wrist around hers and says, "… And do with alarming regularity"

_I haven't watched Ferris Beuller in a long time, but I did make this somewhat based on that. I didn't have any ideas for my Ghost Rider fanfic so I couldn't do it, sorry! I think I'll do 2 stories a day and switch. Like today 1943 case and short stories. Than tomorrow will be 1943 case and rider, bye!_

_~darkntwisted13_


	5. locked in the theatre

**LOCKED IN THE THEATRE**

Valkyrie grunted as Dusk flipped her on the ground. Skulduggery was across the street from her, passed out. Dusk picked her up by the neck, she couldn't breath, her vision was blurring fast. Tanith was practically bleeding to death beside Ghastly who was trying to protect Tanith from future blows. Valkyrie had to focus hard, she worked her necromancer ring and threw Dusk off. He landed into the river behind them. He couldn't swim whilst the water surged him down stream.

Valkyrie ran over to Skulduggery who was passed out from a good thump in the head. "Skulduggery! Get up!" she cried, he didn't move. Instead she sprinted over to Tanith and Ghastly. "Are you guys OK?" she asked worryingly.

Ghastly removed his hand and revealed Tanith's side that her shirt blossomed with blood, and kept going. "Holy crap. Ghastly where's your car?"

Ghastly meekly pointed out where his van is. Valkyrie dragged Tanith first into the back, next was Ghastly who was trying to help her by moving his feet behind himself. Now was Skulduggery's turn, she tried one more to wake him up, no use, she tried to pull him but his arm popped out making him groan a tad. "Fine", she said decidingly. She levitated Skulduggery into Ghastly's van. Once everyone was in she drove off to the Hibernian Theatre.

Ghastly's van was extraordinary fast, she reached the cinema to find Kenspeckle talking to some nurses in the front. He quickly shuffled towards her as other doctors ran to the back, putting the rest on gurneys.

"What happened?"

"Attacked by Dusk…?"

"He did all of this?"

"Sorta' yeah, I'm OK though."

"We have to be sure, Come now." Without complaining she followed him inside.

"Hop on." he signaled her to hop on the table, "OK…Good…Great. Take this." he handed her a leaf to chew on the numb the pain tad.

After a few hours in the waiting room a young doctor said, "Your friends will be fine, you can come in, if you want." she followed him to Taniths bed. She was awake but hardly.

"Tanith, how are you?" she asked calmly.

"I'm OK. It's better than what that white cleaver did, right?" Tanith giggled lightly, "Is Ghastly and Skulduggery OK?"

"Uh, let me see… hold on." Valkyrie ran over to Ghastly who was barely making an effort to stay awake. She ran back to Tanith and said, "He's barely awake. I'm gonna check on Skulduggery, bye." Valkyrie ran over to Skulduggery who didn't appear to be awake or asleep. She found Kenspeckle at another patients bed and asked, "Is Skulduggery asleep or awake?"

"Personally I have no clue, I hope he's asleep though, too annoying."

"I never did see what happened to Ghastly."

"Ghastly was almost drained by Dusk, he lost more blood than Tanith."

"So is everybody going to be OK?" she asked eagerly.

"I think so, you should go home."

"I think you might be right." She dug out her phone and called Fletcher to pick her up. A phone was ringing from behind his behind curtains. Valkyrie drew them apart to find Fletcher in a bed reading a comic book.

"Fletcher, what happened?"

"Oh, I ran into Murder Rose. Who knew she was in Australia. Weird."

"I got to go, bye."

"Valkyrie exited the theatre room to find some assistants locking the doors and slamming the windows. "What is going on here?" she demanded.

"Oh, there's a huge storm coming, sorry. No one is recommended to be outside." an assistant said.

Valkyrie texted her reflection "I'm not gonna make it home today"

"OK, g2g."

_Great, now what? _she thought. She found Clarabelle at a bedside staring at the persons face weirdly.

"Hey, what is it?"

"Oh, her face looks funny when she sleeps", Valkyrie parted the curtains to find Vendetta Dare doing an Elvis thing with her mouth and making a squealing noise, "seriously? What happened to her?"

"Oh, she was flying and got trapped in a cage."

"She can fly?"

"Yeah, she's an adept, she likes being a raven, shh!"

Valkyrie left the table side to Skulduggery's bedside and found him with Kenspeckle fixing Skulduggery's arm, the one that she pulled out.

"How did you manage that now?"

"I have seriously no clue, I woke up with it I guess. Oh, hi Valkyrie."

"Oh, um hi. Sorry about your arm, I must've pulled it out when I was dragging you to Ghastly's van. Sorry."

"My, god that's something, getting your arm pulled off by a 15 year old? That's new." the doctor mocked.

To be continued… dun, dun, dah!


	6. locked in the theatre part 2

_Don't forget that this is based around Dark Days and Vendetta isn't introduced till when Val is 17-18, live with it. Sorry! _

**LOCKED THE THEATRE PART 2**

GEPOV

"How did you manage that?" Skulduggery asked as he winced a tad.

"Well, you know, you were passed out and you're heavier than you think, and I pulled you with one arm in a hurry but then I heard a 'pop' so I levitated you the rest of the way, sorry."

"Am I that fragile?" he sounded offended.

"Eh, maybe? I did pull you hard though."

"Wow, I missed judged your power, don't you have to be somewhere?"

"Yeah, but everyone I know is beaten and there's a huge storm outside so I'm stuck here."

"So were all stuck here? Vendetta too?"

"Yeah?"

"Excellent, I need to ask her some questions."

"Really? You still think she's one of Batu's second in command? I don't think she'll do what he did."

"You cant be too sure, she has training in adeptry!" Skulduggery hopped off of the counter and fixed his tux and stomped towards her bed.

"Well, that was rude." Kenspeckle said using hand gestures.

Valkyrie walked to where Skulduggery was.

"Um. This isn't Vendetta." she pointed out.

"I know, but I still know her. Just not her face." he thought for a moment, "Mimi Eloquent. Ah, where's Vendetta?"

"What happened with you two?" She demanded.

"We might've dated in the 1800's, or something like that" he said uneasily.

"You what? What did you do to her?"

"_me?_ I broke up with her and then she tortured me! Who's more innocent?" he yelled a little to much and woke up Mimi.

"Wh-where am I?" a nurse came up behind them and answered.

"Your at the Hibernian Theatre. You practically drowned, welcome back."

"Oh, OK. Who are these two?"

"Ah, this here is Valkyrie Cain and her mentor-" he couldn't finish because Skulduggery muffled the nurse and pulled him back and said, "Don't say my name, OK?"

"Skulduggery? Is, is that you?"

"Dammit. Yes, hi Mimi"

"It's good to see you. Sorry about the past, I was new to adeptrey. And I just had to take on you."

"Uh, huh. That's you alright… bye." they left and walked through the cinema and just talked for hours on end. The night past slowly, Valkyrie handled the night well, she thought. The storm passed to and they opened the doors.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery said bye to their crippled friends. Just as Valkyrie was leaving a car pulled out too fast and hit her pretty hard. Skulduggery and other doctors ran to her and got her back inside.

"Dammit…" Valkyrie muttered as she spat out blood on the gurney. And heading back to the Theatre, again.

"I have to go" Skulduggery said checking the time.

"Don't start with me" Valkyrie muttered again than spat out blood once more.

The End…

_I'm holding a contest thingy… well actually I'm just lazy, I need a new character for my next story. List name, gender, power (but not insane), which sanctuary and let me know if they have crushes on our to detectives…_

~darkntwisted13


	7. Bloody Mary

_Hey, I wanted to dedicate this to my admin in crime, Light xxx. Her character is an important key, Don. There's no last name so I'll use Don Dulcifer. By the way, Valkyrie is about 13 going on 14. Yeah! And sorry Light xxx I had to adjust his age to make it work. Sorry! (again)_

**BLOODY MARY (DEDICATION)**

Skulduggery and Valkyrie were Driving home in the dark and ominous fog…

"Hey, you know what we should do once we're at Gordon's?" Valkyrie asked eagerly.

"What?"

"Bloody Mary!"

"Why? How does it even work?"

"OK, you go into a bathroom with the lights off than you say Bloody Mary three times and than you just wait to see what happens next."

"Valkyrie, that's just stupid. Is it supposed to be scary? Because you and I both know scary."

"C'mon, lets try it!" she insisted.

"No, sorry.", Skulduggery pulled into Gordon's estate, and Valkyrie slumped her shoulders as she got inside.

"Bloody Mary." Skulduggery said to himself followed by a grunt, "Hmm"

He thought for moment and tried it anyway.

"Bloody Mary… Bloody Mary… Bloody Mary…" Skulduggery adjusted his rear view mirror to find Donny Dulcifer in his back seat.

"Donny? What are you doing here?" Skulduggery asked as he pulled over to the right.

"I need help, man. I got into more trouble with Gallow and Rose…"

"Oh, hell. Again? What did you do to them now?" Don flinched a tad and eased up.

"I, uh, was getting chased by Rose so I tapped my arm and she flew back, but then she ran like fast a-and she hit my arm pretty good so, so I punched her and ran away. They're in the black Volvo behind us." Skulduggery angled his mirror to find Rose and Gallow walking up behind them.

"damn it, huh lets go." Skulduggery said snapping his fingers as he stepped out.

"Oh, OK, yeah, I'm guess I'm coming… heh." Dulcifer stepped out too.

"Why is it that you want Donny? He's a socially awkward kid with a hole in his ear."

"Nah." Jaron started, "We needed him to get you, thank you, Donny."

Skulduggery threw a cold glance at Donny and took out his gun. The gun pointed at Donny and Rose scythed out her sword at him too.

"What? Why? Skul I had no clue, I was just being chased." Skulduggery and Rose still had there weapons pointing at Donny.

"What do I do? How can I prove to you that I had nothing to do with this?" Skulduggery put down his gun and tilted his tilted his head to the car and Donny got in, clenching his arm.

Skulduggery splayed his hands and pushed Gallow and Rose back and he ran into the Bentley.

"Where are we going?" Donny asked cautiously.

"Kenspeckle's"

"Will, will Clarabelle be there?" he swooned a tad.

Skulduggery didn't answer, instead he passed Donny a pair of bound handcuffs. Donny slipped them on, feeling awkward.

They drove to the theatre Skulduggery walked inside, still not saying anything, and Donny who followed but his cuffed hands made it hard to close the door.

"Skulduggery." Kenspeckle said, "who is this now?" He asked, pointing at Donny.

"This is Donny Dulcifer." he finally said, "can you get his arm fixed?" He asked, regretting it.

"Hmm, very well. Donny, over here." Donny walked in the direction of Kenspeckle's finger. "Why is he cuffed?"

"He gets mental breakdowns quite regularly, it's not a bad idea." Dr. Grouse sighed and just shuffled away. Skulduggery sat in the waiting area, reading Top Gear.

Donny was sitting and getting stitched up as Clarabelle walked by.

"Hey Clarabelle!" he said. She shuffled over to them.

"Hey! Who are you?" She pondered.

"I'm Donny, nice to meet you." he said holding out his good hand.

"Is it? Oh, me too!" she shook hard, almost breaking his hand.

"Wow, that's some hand you have there. Can I take you for a movie?"

"I don't think that's necessary, Donny. Because your done, bye now!" Clarabelle said as she took over.

"Oh, um, yeah right. Bye." He hopped of the table and walked out.

Skulduggery wasn't in there. Donny walked out and Rose was standing outside waiting for him.

"Donny, we need your help." Rose said, "Back in 1943, remember?"

"I never did want to do what I did. Why?" He looked like he wasn't scared anymore.

"Detective Rife Tenterhooks has been snooping around, he knows what you did but he doesn't know who you are. Need help with the cuffs?" Her sword glistened as she swiped the cuffs off. Donny felt his powers come back.

"He is? I have to cover up my tracks then." he said, rubbing wrists.

"That's right, we need you to stop Cain and Pleasant. Can you do that?"

"I think I can." this wasn't the Donny everyone knew, wimpy, awkward, shy. No, this was Rudolf Otto. Protégé of Josef Mengele.

_Alright, admin Light xxx? I know he's like way older than he is and he's not Welsh, he's German. But it's 2 small changes, sorry. Did I get your character right? I have no clue, maybe I did. Weird. Anyway this story is like a flashback it takes place around between Playing with Fire and Faceless Ones. If you read this one before my next chapter for my main series you might get confused… but if you're reading this, you already read the rest I'm guessing, so ignore the previous sentence… peace!_


	8. Vendetta's first day

**VENDETTA'S FIRST DAY.**

GEPOV

Vendetta briskly shuffled through the hallways trying to find the hidden door. At last she found it. She entered to find the administrator at her desk, filing some paperwork. "Hi, um, I'm-" Vendetta nervously said.

"Vendetta Dare, right?" The administrator asked, not even looking at her.

"Um, yeah, where do I go?" The administrator pointed towards a long hallway.

Vendetta walked past some offices and other rooms to get to the main room. She entered cautiously, hoping she wasn't disturbing anything. She entered to find the room empty. Just her and 3 chairs. She waited for 2 or 3 minutes, than she got bored. Vendetta played with some of the shadows, making them dance until the door opened. She quickly stopped to find Ghastly Bespoke getting something from behind one of the podiums. He didn't even bother to look at Vendetta who was speechless.

"Are you Elder Bespoke?" she asked.

"Yes", sighing at the name, "I am, you are?"

"Oh, hi. I'm Vendetta Dare, the new guard?"

"Ah, you can start immediately, go to, um, quadrant 5b. Here's a map." Vendetta took it and headed to the area. Valkyrie Cain was busy with her phone when they crashed into each other. They both dropped what they were holding. "Crap, sorry." Valkyrie said picking up her phone, "Hey, your new. Hi, I'm Valkyrie Cain, you are?"

"I'm Venetta Dare, I'm kind of lost. Where's Quadrant 5b?"

"Oh, right I heard of you. Uh, Quadrant 5b is the left side of the main entrance, it's stupid how they label stuff, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Bye, thanks!" Vendetta waved back as she jogged towards the entrance.

She slid through the hidden door to find a kid staring at her. "Can I do that?" asking hopefully.

"Um, yeah sure, I just need to get you a guide, one sec." She spotted Geoffrey Quite fast and waved him over.

"Your Geoffrey, right. Hi, I'm the new guard, can you tell this kid why he didn't go into this door?" The kid frowned as Geoffrey took over.

Vendetta dodged more tourists and some hidden cleavers to find the entrance. She stepped out and hustled over to the left to find some one on duty.

"Hi, I'm Vendetta, I'm new."

"Oh, yeah, hi! Do you know how to do it?" Her co-worker asked.

"Um, yeah I think I do."

"OK, great, use this pager if you see Skulduggery pleasant, K? He's been missing for a few days and we need him back, so yeah. And holler if you need help too. Aright, bye!" She ran back inside, ditching Vendetta.

"Great, OK…?" she paced from side to side for about and hour until her co-worker came running back.

"Is this a break err something?"

"No… Murder… Rose." She said taking gasps in between, "An' Jaron… Gallow were… spotted opposite… from here… Go!… I'm only for patrol."

"Me too!" Vendetta sounded panicking.

"Yeah… but you're stronger… I can barely summon a flame.. go!" Vendetta somewhat nodded and sprinting to the right side.

She found herself in the middle of the fight, 4 guards were passed out with more coming. Rose darted towards Vendetta with a sword by her side. The first swing was dodged but the second was caught in her side. Vendetta grunted in pain and splayed her hands making Rose fall back hard. Jaron Gallow came from behind and punched Vendetta on her bloody side making her clench it. She turned a little more and shadows pulled him back. Vendetta limped towards Murder who was dragging herself to stand up. With a hit to the chin Murder blacked out and fell, again. Jaron didn't bother to go after Vendetta, instead he ran away forgetting Rose behind.

Her co-worker stood in aw as Vendetta fought Rose and Gallow with no help. She also saw Vendetta play with shadows behind Gallow.

"That was amazing!" She cheered.

"Oh, um thanks. Where's the infirmary thingy?" Her co-worker helped her to the area to find Nye working on some one. A doctor escorted Vendetta to a table side. Within 30 minutes Vendetta was back on her feet and slightly limped back to her quadrant. Valkyrie stood outside and thanked Vendetta and went back to her work. Vendetta paced by her quadrant and passer bys, who were doing a check up, stared briefly at Vendetta and went back.

All in all she had a pretty good first day on the job.

_OK, the ending was not so good, I couldn't find a funny err good one, don't hate me! By the way send more ideas! I can't find anymore good ones without copying some one else's because that's illegal and wrong! Please keep sending them!_


	9. Skulduggery vs zombies in Vancouver

**PLANTS VS. SKULDUGGERY**

GEPOV

Valkyrie crimpled over in pain as a zombie slashed her back. Skulduggery and Ghastly kept hurtling fire at the rest that were staggering to Gordon's estate. Cleavers were bordering the house, trying to protect what was inside. All the patrollers kept going in when needed and were pulled out if injured. Tanith stood her ground, all you could see of her sword was the glistening of a strike. Fletcher came in and out trying to get the horde away. Vendetta and Rife retrieved the injured inside. Vendetta grabbed hold of Valkyrie and got her inside too.

"We need you to create a shadow bond!" Fletcher beamed.

"She can't right now" Dr. Grouse said examining her from a far, washing his hands, "She'll be ready in a few, go." Fletcher nodded and glanced at Valkyrie before flashing out.

Skulduggery got bored of throwing fire at the horde. He knelt down on the ground and spread his hands on the grass. The earth beneath the massive horde cracked opened. Before reacting the zombies fell into the caves as the creatures surrounded them.

Skulduggery rushed inside to find Valkyrie hopping off the table and running for the door but he stopped her.

"You OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." She looked over his shoulder through the window to find no zombies out there, "Where are they?"

"I got bored so I put them into the caves." Valkyrie nodded and ran into the pitch black caves followed by Skulduggery.

Valkyrie read the air, "Third cave from the left, go!" Skulduggery lead the team through the dark, half of the Cleavers and most of the patrollers. Valkyrie and Ghastly fed their fire to look around. The horde looked like bodies of decaying flesh and nothing more.

"Are they dead?" Rife asked.

"I don't know." Skulduggery responded.

The horde began to move, making everyone flinch.

"Damn it, I thought I killed them." Skulduggery muttered as he pulled out his gun. 6 bullets hit one zombie straight in the head, but didn't kill him. Reloading, Skulduggery stepped down.

"Lead them to that creepy house where the ghost is than seal them away!" Valkyrie yelled.

"Good idea." Fletcher added, "But you could create that bond so we can teleport them to the ocean!"

"That's a better idea." Vendetta said, "I'll help too."

"OK." Valkyrie and Vendetta pulled the shadows making a strong bond. Fletcher nodded and they all teleported to the pacific ocean, a mile from the Canadian shore. The zombies, not knowing how to swim, started to sink to the bottom. Everyone swam to shore. Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Vendetta and Ghastly lifted the water off. A young girl who was on the beach watched in amazement as the living skeleton quickly dried off. Valkyrie tilted the direction of the girl who ran over to them, Skulduggery quickly tapped his collar bone and a façade slipped up.

"Holy crap!" the girl said, "Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain, here in Vancouver Canada!"

"Um, hi…?" Valkyrie said, slightly waving, "So we're in Vancouver? Is the Tomahawk near by?" Skulduggery glared at her than shrugged.

"Uh, huh. About 2 kilometers from here… hi, I'm Zoë. What happened to you guys?" Zoë said, starting to walk past the beach's duck pond.

"Zombies, everywhere… What beach is this, by the way?" Skulduggery asked.

"Ambleside. Do you guys need a ride to the restaurant? Err."

"Actually I want to walk, Rife can you tell the others? We'll be gone for about an hour or so."

"Sure thing." Zoë couldn't stop glancing at Skulduggery, we was much taller in person.

"So Zoë, can you do magic?" Vendetta asked trying to break the silence.

"Yeah look." She pointed a wave that was on course of crashing into a rocky shore. Her hands splayed making the wave freeze over than break away.

"Hmm, how do you do that?" Skulduggery asked.

"You mean you don't know how?" Zoë asked. Skulduggery dropped his shoulders than shook his head in embarrassment. Valkyrie laughed.

"Oh, it's not exactly easy, it's a mix of adpetry and elemental, it took me forever to get it right." Zoë said. Skulduggery shrugged.

They walked past the mall, shelter and village to the Tomahawk.

"How did you know of this restaurant?" Zoë asked as they walked inside.

"I heard a lot of famous people worked and ate here."

"Hey you know Brian Adams? He used to enroll at my high school."

Ghastly flinched at the artist's names, photos and signatures hanging on the wall. The small duck pond had a rubber duck being plunged by a small waterfall. A host lead them to a rounded table.

"OK, so what do you guys want?" the waitress asked as she took the menus.

"I'll have the Shoo-Skookum Chief burger" Valkyrie said.

"I'll go with the Totem burger." Zoë added.

"Um, does the Thunderbird Burger's secret sauce have mayo in it?" Tanith asked. The waitress nodded and Tanith ordered her burger. Ghastly and Skulduggery passed. The waitress came by a few minutes later with burgers.

"Crap, is this a pig or a burger?" Vendetta asked. No one laughed. The girls devoured their food in 10 minutes leaving nothing but a few crumbs.

"Damn, I that was… amazing!" Tanith said. The guys were baffled by how much food that they could eat.

"Um, we should go, Zoë." Ghastly said as he left the tip.

"Oh, yeah. Can I walk with you guys?"

"Totally, Vancouver is so much warmer than Ireland."

"Really? I'm sure it's more dyer though. Vancouver gets rained on like every second day." Zoë pointed out.

"Oh, god yeah. C'mon." Vendetta said as she bought some Chocolate from the front.

They walked back to the rest of the patrollers who were having a small bonfire.

"Uh, that's somewhat illegal here, it's best if you guys 'dispose of the evidence' before you leave." Zoë suggested.

"Good idea" Skulduggery said.

Everyone linked arms as Zoë waved good-bye and in a quick flash everyone was gone, than rain starts in sweep from the mountains down to the beach. Zoë hopped on her scooter and rode back to the mall to meet up with her dad.

They ended up back in Gordon's house to see if the artifact was still there, it was. Kenspeckle shuffled to them and said, "where were you?"

"At the Tomahawk…?" Vendetta answered.

"Ooh, did you get me something?" He asked and Clarabelle drank some mystery liquid.

"Um, yeah. Here." Vendetta handed him the Chocolate bar.

"Thank you, by the way. Did you like Zoë?" He asked as he tore away the wrapper. Skulduggery's façade looked shocked.

"How do you know here?" Skulduggery asked.

"I trained her, in fact. Did you like how the wave broke away?" Kenspeckle added to make them confused.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" SKulduggery asked.

"There's a method to my madness." Kenspeckle concluded, leaving them baffled.

_Hey, did you miss me? Sorry of the lack of updates. So much exams! Anyways I, Zoë, wanted to write a story about my favorite book characters visiting my home land. If you're ever in North Vancouver, British Columbia Canada; come and eat at the Tomahawk. The burgers are real, the mall, actually there's 2, the shelter is an animal shelter, and the mall's village._

_You'd be amazed and who ate at the Tomahawk. __**and**__ Brian Adams did enroll at my high school along with that dude that sang, __**hot child in the city**__, also an Indy 500 driver, Hockey player and a basket ball player. By the way Twilight, Cody backs, rise of the planet of the apes (2011) were filmed here too._

_God I'm sorry if it sounds like it's an advertisement! I just love my city so much!._

_~darkntwisted13_


	10. gasduggery part 1

_It is what the title implies. On deivantART. Com there's an awesome artist, Meiri. She makes awesome pairings, Gasduggery, Dusguine and many more. I thought of something, I don't know how it'll play out though._

**GASDUGGERY PART ONE**

LOV

Ghastly fell asleep in his shop late one night. He woke up to find the sun trying to peer over the city. Ghastly cleaned up his mess and drove to the Sanctuary. Skulduggery was waiting in the front for him.

"Helloo." Skulduggery greeted with a smile on his façade.

"Um, hi..?" Ghastly answered.

"So. Are you going to the dance tonight?" he eagerly asked.

"I wasn't aware there was a dance tonight."

"There is and I have the perfect tux!" Skulduggery waved to some friends as they walked by. Rife and Vendetta were those friends.

"So do you think Skulduggery will do it?" Vendetta askd

"Oh, I hope so. They are so good together." Rife said.

Skulduggery stalked Ghastly his office.

"Can I help you?" Ghastly awkwardly asked.

Skulduggery needed a moment to register what Ghastky just said. He flinched and stepped out with a fake cough, "Oh, yeah. Totally. Peachy in fact."

"Do you have work to do?"

"No, not really. Today was kind of bland."

"OK… uh, do some patrol in quadrant 4s."

"Will do!" Skulduggery hurried to the quadrant but Valkyrie stopped in his path.

"Hey Skul."

"Hi Valkyrie." he huffed.

"So, are you going to ask him? I know he'll say yes."

"I doubt it. He doesn't even know." Skulduggery admitted.

"I'm sure he does. Trust me." Valkyrie smiled and she let him passed.

Skulduggery ran to the quadrant and started pacing the borderline.

Off in the distance was a slim and elegant figure. It wasn't China.

"Hello, Skulduggery!" The voice called.

"Damn it.", He muttered to himself, "Why, Hello Miss Eloquent."

"Oh, god. Call me Mimi now." She insisted.

"Fine. Mimi what are you doing here?"

"Nothing. Just getting my invite."

"Who invited you to the dance?"

"Detective Tenterhooks, we were friends in the early nineteen hundreds."

Skulduggery sighed, "Would you want me to help you find your way?"

"If you don't mind."

"It would be an ho-honor." He stammered. Skulduggery lead the way to Rife who was still doing patrol.

"Ooh, hello Mimi!" Rife called.

"Hi Rife!" She called after him. He jogged his way over to them and handed Mimi her invite.

"Merci beaucoup." She replied.

"De rien." Rife playfully said in return. Mimi turned to Skulduggery and said, "See you there, Detective Pleasant."

Skulduggery's façade snarled and gave a slight growl in his tone. Mimi didn't notice as she strolled off.

_Why her? Why her?…_ is all he could think of. Skulduggery patrolled for more hours until his shift was up. That gave him three more hours to get ready for the dance.

_Part one, finished. OK the French… I have no clue if it's right. Well, I knew about the thank you part, I saw that all the time. But people who knows or doesn't about "De rein" I looked it up on google translate it was translated from 'you're welcome'. __**and a heads up. For the next week or so there will be more lacking of updates, I'll be in Nova Scotia as a birthday present. I always wanted to go there… thank you.**_

_~darkntwisted13___


	11. gasduggery part 2

_I'm typing this at 38'859 feet, passing over Canada's great lake. Ontario looks like a quilt… I'm suffering from an eleven hour jet-leg. *sigh. Anyways, I have no clue how to play out Gasduggery. I never wrote about actual best friends being lovers… bear with me._

**GHASDUGGERY PART 2**

LOV

At his house Skulduggery's tux was black with blue pinstripe with matching essentials. He got into his Coupe and headed for the Sanctuary.

Outside was Valkyrie waiting for him in a simple satin dress.

"So? Do you think you're ready." She eagerly asked.

"I'm not sure… what do you think?"

"I think you two will be perfect! Shall we?"

"Indeed." Skulduggery held out his arm and Valkyrie hooked around it. Inside the ballroom was many colors shifting around. The music was going from classical to almost modern, the volume was loud enough so everyone can speak without raising their voice.

"Hey, I'm going to join Vendetta and Rife." Valkyrie waved and slightly jogged over to them. Rife was not too far from the martinis, Skulduggery joined him.

"Hello, Rife." Skulduggery awkwardly began.

"Oh, uh, hi…?" Rife's voice was uneasy as well.

"So. You like the music?" Skulduggery began.

"Um, yeah. It's cool I guess…" a beat skipped before he continued, "If I were you, I would ask him." Skulduggery shot a glance at Ghastly than back to Rife.

"Everyone is saying that." Skulduggery sadly said.

"Just do it." Rife hands splayed and Skulduggery was shoved forward and crashed into Mimi Eloquent.

"Who the hell did th-" She turned to find Skulduggery fixing his lapel.

"Detective Pleasant, what can I do you for?" She asked in the most politest manner possible.

"Nothing, just got pushed." he shot a glare at Rife who smiled back, "I'll be going now." He started walking forward but she caught him before he could escape.

"Nonsense, shall we dance?" Skulduggery groaned and held out his hand and she took it. Valkyrie watched in disbelief as they danced.

"This is too funny." Tannith said and dug out her phone to take a picture.

"Don't do that. Who knows what will happen to you." Tannith snickered and took a picture anyway, "OK, I can't take this anymore." Valkyrie affirmed. She stepped right in between them and stole Skulduggery.

"Thank god." He sighed and watched Mimi frown.

"De rein. OK, are you ready? Because we can go home, like, right now." She twirled out and back in than the conversation continued.

"I think you're right." Skulduggery sighed and they waltzed to the door, "Besides, he likes Tanith anyways." Valkyrie hugged him for comfort.

"He does, but you are the best." She broke away and walked to the Coupe and he followed.

"Don't feel bad, I mean I didn't get the person I wanted tonight either." Valkyrie sighed and buckled herself in.

"Who was it?" Skulduggery asked as he revved the car.

"No one, don't worry about it." Valkyrie laid her head against the window and peered out.

"I think it's someone, tell me." He pressed.

"Don't worry." She insisted.

"We have nothing else to talk about." Skulduggery pointed out.

"You can't make me." Valkyrie bluffed.

"Don't push it." His hand splayed and day-old coffee spilt on her.

"Skulduggery! That's is so gross." Valkyrie's hand splayed too and the coffee dripped back into the cup, "Fine I'll tell you…" She purposely muffled her voice to he couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry, what?" Skulduggery teased.

"It's…" Her voice raised a little louder but no audible.

"I can't hear you." He sang in tune.

"I Geoffrey, OK?" Valkyrie confessed and sank down her seat.

"Geoffrey? Seriously?" He started to chuckle than saw her face turn bright red and stopped.

"What? OK? It's him, don't blame me." Her tone gave something away.

"Lying." Skulduggery discovered.

"I'm sorry? I didn't lie."

"You did, I'm just that good." His voice gave a smile.

"OK, you're right. I'm sorry.", She sighed, "Fine, I won't directly tell you but give some hints, K?"

"We have time." Skulduggery muttered.

"The guy is tall, wears tuxes 24/7 and good god he can talk nonstop!" She laughed in desperation. Skulduggery glanced at her and looked forward.

"Me?" He guessed just to confirm.

"Yes." She sighed, "It's you. I thought I shouldn't of told you, 'cause you know." Skulduggery grunted at the thought and kept took a left. His face and tone had no expression, she couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

"I'm glad you told me." Skulduggery finally said.

"That's good, right?" Valkyrie was trying to predict what would happen next, "It, it's OK, I totally get it you don't feel the same way." She felt heart broken but she knew it wasn't meant to be.

"You're right, I don't, but I still love your friendship. Alright?"

Valkyrie fought back the tears and weekly said, "I would love it to stay that way."

_Aww! What a twist! No one (except Ghastly) gets their crush! I thought it was sweet, I couldn't think of a better ending. Also because I can't imagine to best guy best friends falling in love, sorry. _


	12. if Skulduggery was late

**IF SKULDUGGERY WAS LATE**

DOV GEPOV

The man came crashing through the door and demanded for the key but Stephanie had no clue what he was talking about.

"Give me that damn key!" He demanded, "Now!" Stephanie reached for a knife but he was faster. His hand splayed and she got lodged into the wall. Stephanie moaned and slipped out.

"Who are you?" She asked and spat out blood.

"Call me Robin. Now, where is that key?" Robin shouted.

From behind the study echo-Gordon couldn't take this anymore. He jumped out and yelled, "She doesn't have it!"

"Gordon?" Stephanie was beyond confused

"Than where is it!" Robin demanded.

"Two miles east, in an ugly house with 1467 for the address. Leave her alone!" Gordon pleaded.

Robin laughed and his hand splayed again. Echo-Gordon was trapped behind the bookcase and couldn't open it.

"Wha-what did you do? He, he was dead. How can he be alive?" Stephanie slumped onto the ground in desperation.

"Don't worry. Now, Stephanie, grab me that knife over there." Robin said and held out his hand.

"How do you know my name?" She asked and she grabbed the knife, not willingly.

"That's your uncle, right? Than you must be his niece." Stephanie was forced to give him the knife. She tried to run away, "Don't run, stand there." She obeyed. Robin walked behind her and moved her hair around her shoulder.

"Are you going to kill me?" Stephanie asked and began to cry.

"Yes." the knife played with her skin, "Any requests?"

Her vision was blurred and couldn't see anything, "Only one." Stephanie bravely said, "What are you, really?" Robin smiled, he loved this question.

"Your worst nightmare." Valkyrie winced when he pierced her skin, "And in your uncle's book; the wizards and stuff are real."

Valkyrie gasped when he slit her throat and she fell to the ground. Robin liked the blood from the knife and stepped outside. Serpine stepped from the dark and greeted Robin.

"Where's the key?" He asked.

"Two miles east, an ugly house. The address is 1467. Lets go."

Serpine smiled and raised his hand, "Thank you. But you failed your task." his hand glowed the dangerous red and Robin crumpled to the ground and silently died.

The only sound left in the house was echo-Gordon calling his nieces name and sobbed in between.

The skeleton detective swung the door opened. He found her corpse in a shallow pool of blood. Skulduggery kneeled down and checked her pulse, there was none to be found.

"Damn it." He muttered. Behind the book case he heard a familiar voice.

"Sk-Skulduggery? Is that you?" Gordon asked.

"Gordon?" Skulduggery called back, "Where are you?"

"Behind the bookcase. In the study." Skulduggery looked around for the false book and pulled it. The door wouldn't budge so Skulduggery's hand splayed and made the door swung opened.

"Gordon?" Skulduggery looked at the stone and him, "Ah. Echo stone. Smart move."

"Thank you. Where's Stephanie?" Skulduggery stepped aside and Gordon darted towards her body.

"How late was I?" he sadly asked.

"At least five minutes." Gordon tried to hold her head but his hand went right through her, "What were you doing?"

"Stuck in traffic, I'm so sorry." He took off his hat and placed it at the table, "If only I came here earlier."

Gordon gave up on trying to hold her. He stood up and sat at the table and Skulduggery joined him.

"What do we do now?" Gordon asked.

"We can't do anything. You and I don't really exist to mortals, we have to leave this to mortals."

"The man, by the way, was Robin. He asked for the key and I told him where it is."

Skulduggery sighed, "Well, I should go. I need to stop Serpine. You should get back to your study. I'll visit soon."

"Take the stone and cradle, please. You're the only one left." Skulduggery shrugged and took stone and cradle and put it in his Bentley. The car revved and they took off.


	13. Gale Maladroit

**GALE MALADROIT **

**GEPOV by request**

Tanith was strolling the allies of London, no sword, in 1941. She wore a dainty black dress that covered the essentials with matching pumps, she was waiting for her date. A tall man that was both lanky and built leaned against a brick wall, flicking around a dagger.

"Where are you going, miss?" He asked in a weak Welsh accent.

"No where." Tanith replied in a strong English accent.

"Alright." He held out his hand, "May I?" Tanith cautiously placed her hand on his and he kissed her knuckles tenderly. She grasped his wrist and whipped him over her shoulder.

"Maladroit, your hand is a dead giveaway." He glanced at his scorched palm, "What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Covering some tracks, you?" Maladroit asked as he stepped up.

"Getting ready for a rendezvous…" Tanith gasped to say something else but she faltered.

"What were you going to say?" He asked, with a mischievous smile

"Nothing, I have to go." She flinched as he shot a violet lightning strike inches from her body, "Don't push it, Gale."

"One last thing, Tanith Low." Gale said as he grabbed her wrist, "Where is Tenterhooks?"

"Who?" She boggled. Tanith shook her head, "Never mind, I have to go."

"Not yet. One more time, where _is _Tenterhooks, Rife Tenterhooks."

"I don't know who he is! I have to go." He yanked her arm and pulled her closer, "Let. Me. Go." Tanith demanded, but Gale only pulled her closer, "Damn it, Maladroit. Now." She thundered. Gale's hand splayed and small strikes crackled in his scarred hand.

"I don't thinks that's a good idea." He suggested. The crackles quieted and his hand pushed the back of her head towards his. Their lips crushed together harshly, Tanith didn't pull away for a few moments. Gale was the one who broke away, "Well, I thought that you were goin' to pull away there." Tanith weakly smiled and pecked him quickly as she stumbled away. Maladroit's hand was engulfed in lightening and got himself.

_To (I forgot her name). she came up with the idea of Gale who can shoot lightning strikes, and gets himself sometimes. No last name so I picked Maladroit, meaning clumsy. This is the intro, kinda, for my new story-case. I'm strangely focusing on Tanith's and Rife's connection to this man, in an intimate way. Ooh! That's all I can give you now, folks! But I have a page full of Gale's character like any other original characters that I've (needed help to be) created._


	14. Asleep by Emily Browning

**Asleep ~ Emily Browning **

Valkyrie walked inside her house. She slugged up the stairs to her bed and took out Skulduggery's revolver. She tried all she could do, he was forever lost in the other dimension. What else could she live for?

_**Sing me to sleep,**_

_**Sing me to sleep**_

_**I'm tired and I**_

_**Want to go to bed**_

She quenched the handle, making her decision. She checked the barrel, only one bullet was present. Valkyrie peered into the shaft and brought it to her temple. Hesitating, she slowly readies herself. _Here we go_, she thought.

_**Sing me to sleep**_

_**Sing me to sleep**_

_**And then leave me alone**_

_**Don't try to wake me in the morning**_

Fletcher popped in instantly, quietly. He saw Valkyrie moments before pulling the trigger.

"Valkyrie!" she looked at him.

"Fletcher, leave me alone." she pulled the gun away and put it beside her.

"Why?"

'_**Cause I will be gone**_

_**don't feel bad for me**_

_**I want you to know**_

_**Deep in the cell of my heart**_

_**I will feel so glad to go**_

"He's gone, OK? We'll never get Skulduggery back. The Grotesquery is destroyed. His skull was incinerated. There's no hope, Fletcher." Valkyrie brought her knees to her chest and sobbed into them. "Ghastly is a statue, Tanith is a remnant, plus if I die there won't be Darquesse-"

"What about me? Valkyrie, I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere."

_**Sing me to sleep**_

_**Sing me to sleep**_

_**I don't want to wake up**_

_**On my own anymore**_

Valkyrie looked at him, tears streaking her cheeks. "But I, I."

"I may not be a swordsman, a tailor and your best friend, but I care about you."

_**Sing to me**_

_**Sing to me**_

_**I don't want to wake up**_

_**On my own anymore**_

"But where were you? You never came when I needed you the most, Fletcher." she wiped the tears away and put the gun away.

"I'm sorry, Val, I really am but you can't kill yourself just because you feel all is lost."

"But it _is_."

"I _can_ help you, we can at least try to get him back."

_**Don't feel bad for me**_

_**I want you to know**_

_**Deep in the cell of my heart**_

_**I really want to go**_

"But it's impossible, I've done everything possible."

"_You've _done everything _you_ can do, but _we've _haven't done anything."

"Fletch, it's not possible. There's no Isthmus Anchor anymore."

"We just haven't looked."

_**There is another world**_

_**There is a better world**_

_**Well there must be**_

_**Well there must be**_

_**Well there must be**_

_**Well there must be**_

_**Well…**_

Valkyrie nodded and smiled. "See? Val, nothing's possible, I didn't think I've seen you smile since Aranmore Farm." he parted her hair from her face, "I love you."

Valkyrie hugged him tightly and whispered, "I love you so, _so _much." she pulled away and looked in his eyes. "Fletcher, you think it's possible? To get Skulduggery ba-"

"Valkyrie, anything is possible." she smiled again and pulled him to a gentle kiss.

_**Bye bye**_

_**Bye bye**_

_**Bye…**_

_Alright, I literally haven't posted since March, so sorry! It's my first songfic, what'd you think? Good? Bad? Meh? I know most of you hate Fletcher but I've turned off from Valduggery love, and why not give him a shot. At the moment I am a huge Duskguine fanatic! More because it's unusual than practical, but it seems right. Plus, I think Sanguine (not Dusk, ew) is hot. That's why I made him date Vendetta_


	15. Clarabelles questions

_This is an opening for a new fanfic, if this one pulls through, let me know…_

**Clarabelle's questions **

Caelan was done with Valkyrie, he didn't care for her anymore. Fortunately for him, his _death_ came by luck. He held his breath long enough to make his escape possible. Once the two left he got out from underneath the docs and _blurred_ away.

It took him a while to get over his _obsession_. He had to find something to keep his mind occupied, but who?

Caelan stalked the alleyways of Dublin about mid-day. He came across a blue-haired woman hold a familiar vile of clear serum. She was alone, by a dumpster, sniffing the liquid. She shrugged and brought the liquid to her mouth.

"Wait!" Caelan screeched and yanked the serum, "What are _trying _to _accomplish_?"

"I want to see what this vile would do if I drank it." she smiled brightly, "Do you know what it is?"

"Nothing, really." he tucked it in his breast pocket and stared at her, "Why is your hair blue?"

"Oh, I was walking Downtown when I came across this man unloading a truck, he said," she brought her voice deep, "'hey, girlie, want some blue hair?' I said sure so he gave me a dye and voila, I have blue hair." her smile broadened.

Caelan kept staring and blinking at this strange woman, "What's your name, Miss?"

"Clarabelle, hi." she held out her hand.

"No last name?"

"Why would I need one?"

"Fair enough. Well, I should be going, stay safe." he finally shook her hand and turned out.

"Wait!" she shouted and tugged his arm back.

"What?" he looked at her.

"Can I buy you lunch?"

"Uh, n-no thank you." he tried to walk away but she tugged him back, again.

"Look, please? I have money and I don't feel like buying much of anything but food for a friend."

"A _friend_? You don't even know my name."

"OK, than what is it?"

"Caelan."

"Oh, hi Caelan, lets get some lunch." Clarabelle didn't joke, she meant it.

"Look, Clarabelle, I really can't."

"Why? I'm sure we can find you a donor somewhere near here."

He blinked, "I'm sorry?"

"You're a vampire, right? That serum, I knew what it was, I was curious."

"Oh, all right then." he slowly responded. "Clarabelle, you sound fine, but I really am good, OK? I should go now." he slightly grinned and shook his hand away and started walking.

Her smile twitched slightly, "But we're still friends, right?"

"Of course." he said back and slightly rolled his eyes. _Crazy girl_, he thought and walked away.

He left Clarabelle in the alley and he walked around Downtown. Things crossed his mind and he shrugged them away, but not Clarabelle. Why does she appeal to him? Why can't he rid of her? What's so different from her compared to _Valkyrie_?

He stopped. _What is the difference?_ Caelan thought to himself. She's pretty, they both are. She's sweet, Valkyrie was kind. She thought thinks a little differently, Valkyrie thought like any other. She's just _different_; was all he could conclude. _Different_.

Clarabelle sighed as soon as Caelan cornered away from her. Like all men whom she ever met that were _decent_. Her smile drifted away and she hailed a taxi, destination: Haggard.

She was up to her usual task checking on some patients that found their way to the Cinema, Kenspeckle ordered - when he was alive. That Creature, Nye, forbids her to do it, but she doesn't listen, she visits them on her free time.

Haggard was gloomy as ever when Clarabelle got there. She made her way, house to house, six Zombies, two Vampires, and four mages. She's grown to know them well, nothing more than friends though. Well, except one, Dusk. But happened, he keeps trying to scare her away - failing to do so.

He didn't scare her, no matter how much he tried. Clarabelle sworn to him, promising to visit every two weeks. He wasn't there most times, though, probably trying to hide.

He came to the Cinema, looking for salvation, he was starved and horribly battered and sliced. His infected found a way to over turn his power to him, leaving him for death. Dusk, at one point, needed her help but now he avoids her as much as possible.

Clarabelle knocked at his door, "Dusk? I brought you more of that serum!" the tenant building was demolished in the Infected's attack, he moved to small house, looking as nasty as Haggard itself.

"Go away!" he yelled behind the door. "It's been two _years_, Miss. I've been more than fine."

"Uh, are you sure?" she thought of a question, the ones that gives her reputation, "Dusk? Can I ask you something?"

"What?" he snapped back acidly.

"Why haven't you tried to, I don't know, _drain_ me?" that's the question.

Foot steps came to the door and he opened it, "What?"

"If I'm _so_ annoying, why haven't you tried to kill me, serum or not?"

He raised his brow, "I sincerely don't know what you're asking me."

"Why haven't you?"

He shrugged, "I can't deal with this anymore, Clarabelle. Please, leave me." he closed the door and she sagged.

"I'm sorry I bothered you, Dusk." she mumbled and walked away.

_Good? Meh, I don't know. New fanfic? A love triangle; Clarabelle likes Dusk, Caelan might like Clarabelles and Dusk - well, he likes no one, yet. So? Like my Deviations- whoops, did I just tell you that I have deviant art? I think I did. Ok, penname; skully4hire_


	16. Chapter 16 Ilu

"You missed me, huh?" she murmured, a slck smile enveloped. She sat down in her leathery office chair, opening up a writing program.

She didn't know why she ever stopped. Her love for the dashing and seemingly sexy Skeleton-detective was at an all time high. _Oh crap. _She lied. Last time she checked, Ghastly just kicked the bucket and...well... things have been tense and dull of late. No matter though. Her heart brought her new places over these past few years.

Knuckles cracking, feet propped up, wireless gaming keyboard resting on her lap, she only had one thing on her mind. Yaoi. And good god, she had a huge drive for that stuff right now.

She glanced to her right, a big matte drawing tablet was beckoning to be drawn on. The sensation of swiping the black pen on the surface felt so smooth and soothing to the touch. She always preffered her craft as a more visual piece of work... Screw it, she abandoned the writer and plugged in the tablet. She didn't bear any ideas, but some will appear soon, it always does. A good moment passed before the digital handshake went through. Before anything else, she tapped the surface of the plastic.

Nothing. Damn

It was such a mish-and-a-half to reinstall and restart. She returned her attention the keyboard, opened up the writer and- oh my, what was she doing?

_Writing?_

Writing what?

Stumped due to missing ideas, lost inspirations, she opened up her home-away-from-home: _deviantART_.

Nothing new

Email?

Well, new follower on her ghostrider fanfic that was dropped.

She felt bad for these folks

She didn't take up writing anymore

Hell, English was her worst class.

She had no flow to her sentences, bloody awful grammar and simply lost that drive.

_And look at this writing, _She thought, looking back through here skulduggery fanfics, _I knew I was bad then, but now THIS bad, honestly, whhyyyy_. She only kept her dumb, shameful account to follow on more current fanfics of doctor who and transformers.

_And her characters_. Major 'sues' Vendetta Dare was, an out-going generic punk who was a shapesifter and necromancer and just...wow, okay.

Yet there was still a genuine feeling that left a mark on her. Vendetta, Reif, Mimi...all of them, were still her first characters, and each one was better than the last.

Later that summer, the girl got her first drawing tablet and forgot the silly notion of writing and hopped aboard the SS digital artist, leaving her fantasy detective world in search of something close to her. Something _alien-_

WOW OKAY

THATS ENOUGH

UGHHH

Hi there

Do you remember me? Originally darkandtwisted13?

Hi there guys...

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Sorry for abandoning you

scarring you with my awful writing, though you stuck around for that good year.

I want to say that I've moved on, and thank god I did

As much as I love the traditional writing-on-paper sensation, I much prefer drawing.

Some of you know I've migrated to deviantART under the user 0tt0maton

Oh boy, you're gunna be in shock if you ever do decide to check it out.

Don't get me wrong, writing was definitely that lil' spark that sent my mind into one of an artists thoughts

and I've made good friends off of this website

just wow

I miss those kinds words, even though I don't write, I always jump back to those reviews and swell up

I'm getting sappy now

but you get the point

So this is my "official" farewell


End file.
